[ti:Carissa] [ar:Sun Kil Moon] [al:Benji] [offset:0] [00:00.80]Carissa - Sun Kil Moon [00:17.00]Oh Carissa, when I first saw you, [00:20.58]you were a lovely child. [00:23.52]And the last time I saw you, [00:25.83]you were fifteen and pregnant [00:28.41]and running wild. [00:30.82]I remember wondering, [00:33.24]could there be a light at the end of your tunnel? [00:38.06]But I left Ohio then [00:40.10]and pretty much forgotten all about you. [00:45.69]I guess you were there some years ago [00:49.56]at a family funeral. [00:52.71]But you were one of so many relatives [00:56.10]I didn't know which one was you. [01:00.90]Yesterday morning I woke up to so many, [01:04.67]330 area code calls. [01:07.21]I called my mom back [01:10.10]and she was in tears and asked [01:12.50]how to spoke to my father. [01:15.32]Carissa burned to death [01:18.07]last night in a freak accident fire. [01:22.84]In her yard in Bruster her daughter [01:25.63]came home from a party and found her. [01:30.10]Same way as my uncle [01:32.06] [01:33.78]who was her grandfather. [01:37.75]An aerosol can blew up in the trash, [01:41.10]goddamn, what were the odds? [01:44.73]She was just getting ready to go to her [01:48.22]midnight shift as an RN is Rosworth. [01:52.22]And she vanished up in flames like [01:55.37]that but there had to be more to her life's worth. [02:00.09]Everyone's grieving out of their minds, [02:03.82]making arrangements and taking drugs. [02:07.14]But I'm flying out there tomorrow [02:09.43]because I need to give and get some hugs. [02:14.37]Cause I got questions that [02:18.27]I'd like to get answered. [02:21.48]I may never get them, [02:24.73]but Carissa gotta know how did it happen. [02:28.13] [02:29.54]Carissa was thirty-five, [02:32.94]you don't just raise two kids [02:35.26]and take out your trash and die. [02:40.47]She was my second cousin, [02:43.51]I didn't know her well at all [02:46.11]but it doesn't mean that [02:47.19]I wasn't meant to find some poetry [02:54.43]to make some sense of this, [02:56.79]to find a deeper meaning. [03:01.88]In a senseless tragedy, [03:03.80] [03:06.03]oh Carissa I'll sing your name across every sea. [03:42.21]Were you doing someone else's chores for them? [03:49.69]Were you just killing time, [03:51.86]finding things to do all by your lonesome? [03:54.56] [03:56.55]Was it even you mistakenly put [03:59.96]flammables in the trash. [04:03.84]Was it your kids just being kids, [04:06.96]and so, oh, [04:08.45]the guilt they will carry around forever. [04:12.05]Well I'm going out there to get [04:15.81]a look at the landscapes, [04:17.29] [04:18.89]to get a look at those [04:20.62]I'm connected by blood [04:22.56]and see how it all may have shaped me. [04:26.36]Well I'm going out there though [04:30.23]I'm not really needed. [04:33.46]I'm just so broken up about it, [04:36.79]how is it that this sad history repeated? [04:41.11]I'll return to Ohio, to the place [04:45.88]I was born. [04:48.51]Gonna see where [04:49.59]I hung with my cousins [04:51.47]and played with them in the snow. [04:54.90]Fist in their palms, [04:56.01]gonna see how they've grown. [04:57.91]Visit some greats and say hey [05:00.98]I've missed you. [05:02.76]Gonna find out as much as [05:05.19]I can about my second little cousin Carissa. [05:11.01]Gonna go to Ohio, [05:14.15]where I was born. [05:18.14]Got a 10:45 am flight, [05:21.26]I'm leaving tomorrow morning. [05:24.96]Gonna see my aunts and my uncles, [05:28.59]my parents and sisters. [05:32.32]Mostly I'm going to pay my respects to my [05:36.12]little second cousin Carissa. [05:40.41]Going to Ohio where I feel I belong. [05:47.01]Ask those who know the most about [05:49.56]Carissa for it her life [05:52.58]and death that I'm helplessly drawn. [05:55.44]Carissa was thirty-five, [05:58.06]raised kids since she was fifteen years old [06:01.54]and suddenly died. [06:05.37]Next to an old river, [06:07.33]fire pit, oh there's gotta be more than that to it. [06:16.94]She was only my second cousin [06:19.89]but it don't mean that [06:21.88]I'm not here for her or that [06:24.15]I wasn't meant to give her life poetry, [06:31.24]make sure her name is known across every city.